She had been marginalized by those who were so focused on having fun that they pushed a dear soul to the sidelines. I know that what my friend was describing is not the norm, and yet I hear over and over again from people who are so tired of "the scene." They are exhausted from the game, from trying to keep up with the Joneses, from trying to stand out in the crowd, from putting themselves out there and trying to "figure it all out" only to realize that none of us have this all figured out.
They crave interaction, and yet they feel that so many of the dances, parties, trips and so forth are chock-full of "empty calories" when it comes to deep meaningful connection.
I know she had been looking forward to it for months and to see her so crest-fallen caused me to feel both sad and angry at the same time. She then proceed to tell me what was eating her up inside: the trip, while filled with well-meaning people, had been full of what she described as "shallow socialness." She related being surrounded by shaved chests, chiseled abs, bleached white teeth, perfect hair, impeccable swimsuits, implants, toned arms, and so on.
Instead of bonding moments, we have created a world of where the quick buzz of an experiential social Twinkie has become the norm.
Let's be honest: somewhere along the way "midsingles" (at least in Utah) translated to "how in the world do I stand out in the crowd of hundreds, no, thousands? And so we stress about our looks, about our outfits, about our incomes or house size or how many toys are in the garage or what brand our shoes are, etc.
I'm saying all that is bad, but the next part irked me.
When she talked of the "cliques" and "groups" who (while they would never admit it before God) secretly treated themselves as if they were better than others, as if their looks or popularity gave them some advantage over the "less" physically attractive ones, well, I felt it in the pit of my stomach.